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In fact, we might not expect the fast reply at all.

When a relationship isn’t mutual or there’s underlying tension that isn’t being expressed and dealt with, it’s easy to read not only into the speed of reply but even the content of it, and we should use these types of responses as a cue to be more conscious, aware, and present.

If we’re chained to our phone, we may assume that they are too.

Each relationship is different and has its own communication rhythm.

We might analyse the length if they eventually reply, or even stress out over the content.When we have an existing relationship and it’s mutual, it’s easier to not only have a sense of that rhythm but to also not feel away or jump to negative conclusions if a swift or immediate reply doesn’t happen.We won’t be keeping score nor will we feel away if we pick up the phone or message first despite having done it the last time.I’ve witnessed a lot of tensions and conflicts between people due to the expectation that they should have got an immediate or fairly swift reply to text messages.When a person perceives a reply to be ‘slow’, it can trigger a spiral of anxiety where they wonder what they did wrong or start berating themselves for not being “good enough”, or they deem the person to be a bad friend or inconsiderate person.

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